Doors

Lyrics can be found here (Click for lyrics)

My my, it’s been quite a little bit without a post again. This maiden went on a temporary hiatus.

Now, the video above. I’m not sure if it will play or not since embedding for it had been disabled for whatever reason. So I improvised. I’ll fix it if it doesn’t work. Fixed.

But about the song. The first time I heard it, I thought, “I have to write about this!” It’s amazing how well I can relate it to myself and many others I know. And even many I don’t.

The song speaks about being placed in front of doors and being lost and confused. And that happens. When given options, there are a lot of us who don’t know just what to choose. Each door opens up a new path. And with that comes new challenges and obstacles to overcome. The question is, do we want to have to deal with those challenges? I’m sure that, like myself, many of you would say “no” and search for an easier way out. But sometimes, the difficult route is the better one. It will open up many more possibilities, both negative and positive, than the simple path would.

The song also talks about how we find it hard to be ourselves. And that’s true. Look at me, for example. I can be myself out in the real world, sure. But am I truly letting my entire self be seen? No. Because I’m afraid. I’m not a risk taker. But I do sometimes wish I was that way. I’m constantly fighting against myself inside my mind. Should I take the risk? Or should I take the easy way out? My masqued self tells me to take the easy route. To not push things. Not change the peace we have now. And yet my real self tells me the opposite. To take the risk. To actually stand apart from everyone and defend myself.

A lot of us do the things we do because we want to fit in with everyone else. To be just like the others. To feel accepted. And I’ve done things like this myself, I will admit. I’ve become the subject of many jokes because I just wanted to be accepted. And I laughed along with them, pretending it didn’t bother me once. My masqued self was fine with it. She decided it was what was right. But my real self was always upset. Brooding because she knew it wasn’t right. Because she knew I should fight for myself, fight back.

To sum it up, I’ll end with the answer to the question asked at the end of the song: "Do you know yourself?”

For me, the answer would probably be that I don’t even know anymore. Both the Masque and my real self are important parts to me. Sometimes I can’t even tell which one is the real one. The mesh and become intertwined sometimes, while at others, they can be so different and clear from each other, it’s a wonder I even thought them to be the same entity. I don’t really know myself. And I’m sure that most of the people living on this earth don’t either. But I can’t really speak for them. I can only speak for myself on this matter.

At times, I wish the Masque wasn’t such a dominant part of me. I wish I could be myself. Say the things I want to say. Stand up and fight back against those who dislike me for whatever reason. But it’s not an easy change to make. It’s probably the most difficult change a person could even attempt. My real self and the masque will continue fighting their battle inside me. I can only hope that one day, my real self will be victorious.