Rewind

Now, I’m sure that everyone has thought that they want time to rewind at some point or another. Whether it’s because of stress, just because, or when you feel that everything around you is falling apart. For me, I think it’s the third option.

Recently, I’ve been thinking of how much I’ve changed since my elementary school days and a lot of stuff that has happened since then. And I find myself wondering about what would have happened if those changes hadn’t occurred. Like, what if I’d stayed in contact with the girl I had been best friend’s with before I moved. Would I be interested in different things? Would I have a different attitude towards life? Would I be doing better in school? So many questions with three times as many possible answers to each.

But then there are more recent things coming to mind. It feels like my world is crashing down around me, sometimes. I don’t talk to my best friend nearly as much I used to anymore. She seems to be too wrapped up in her new boyfriend, always bringing him up as much as possible, what he says. “__________ told me this,  ___________ likes that, me and __________ went out to wherever today and had a great time.” (For sake of anonymity, I’ve left his name out.) I’m starting to regret getting them together now. I don’t like the idea of losing my best friend to someone else. I’m too clingy, I know. I guess, maybe deep down in the abyss that is myself, I’m happy for her though, no matter how much her incessant chatter about him gets on my nerves. She’s still my friend, after all. And I’d much rather see those around me happy and smiling than upset and depressed.

Either way, I guess rewinding time isn’t an option in life, no matter how much we yearn for it to be. The real world isn’t like that; there’s no “undo” or “back” button. Life would be so much easier if there was such a thing. Everything would be.

Too bad it won’t ever exist.